What type of ex are you?

Pernah tak wonder what type of ex are you? Mesti tak pernah terpikir pun nak kategorikan diri sendiri. Meh I tolong kategorikan. Hahahaha. Idea tercetus bila I perasan yang penyanyi suka buat lagu yang sepesen. Lagu ditulis selalunya menceritakan kisah hidup diorang, jadi I believe that, the lyrics mencerminkan keperibadian dan how they react to situations. So, bekas kekasih yang bagaimanakah anda? Let’s see

1. Suka Kasihani Diri Sendiri, macam Katy Perry

• Katy Perry memang suka stok layan perasaan, kisah cinta yang terhalang, bukan kehendak masing-masing untuk berpisah. Kalau buat videoclip mesti hero dia mati. Menggambarkan yang keputusan untuk berpisah bukan di tangan satu sama lain, sangat kasihan. Kita harus kasihankannya sekarang, cepat kasihankan dia, wuuuuu sobs sobs! 
• Perasan tak kita kadang-kadang suka buat macam ni jugak? Benda bukan apa sangat pun, tapi saja lebih-lebih. I had this conversation once dengan kengkawan, we were always talking about heartbreaks. Salah satunya, "Weh kau selalu tak layan jiwang? Best oh emotional sorang2" "Aku kadang-kadang suka gak, walaupun busy takde masa nak pikir, sengaja peruntukkan satu malam, pasang lagu Ombak Rindu sambil meringkuk atas katil dalam foetal position. Pastu nangis." Hahaha nampak tak? Dalam kepadatan jadual study pun sempat lagi wallow in self-pity. It's therapeutic sometimes. Nampak tak ada ke lelaki macam tuh.. Kekadang ada jup.. hahahaha
• Lagu Katy Perry yang sesuai untuk ex yang jenis kasihankan diri sendiri adalah:

1. Thinking of You: "You said move on where I go... I guess second best is all I will know... And yes I do regret how I could let myself let you go... (pakwe mati pergi perang)". 
2. The One That Got Away: "In another life... I would make you stay... so I don't have to say you were the one that got away... I should've told you what you mean to me because now I pay the price (pakwe accident kereta)".

2. Masih Berharap dan Terlebih Yakin, macam Mariah Carey

• Mariah Carey tak pernah lepaskan orang betul-betul. Dia mesti bagi hint yang dia nak lagi kat orang tuh kalau tiba-tiba orang tuh datang balik. Dia cheeky, dia confident, dia perasan hot. Tapi dia memang hot so takpe. I panggil dia atau golongan exes yang macam dia sebagai Hopelessly Hopeful Romantic atau lebih jelas lagi, Berharap Pada Yang Tak Boleh Harap.
• Bagi dia; oh aku hot so you're gonna come back to me. Kalau aku let go sekarang pun satu hari kau confirm akan tersedar we belong together because you will always be my baby so don't forget about us. Ha nampak tak, tiga tajuk lagu Mariah carey diletak dalam satu ayat. Nampak tak?!!! Excited ni..
• Lagu Mariah Carey yang sesuai dilayan ex jenis kuat berharap sebab terlalu confident adalah:

1.  We Belong Together (jangan lupa videoklip nak kahwin dah dengan orang lain pastu, ex lama datang and bawa anda lari fuyo fuyo konfiden): "I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so... I should've held on tight I never should've let you go" "Baby there aren’t nobody better, we belong together".
2. Always Be My Baby: "Now you wanna be free, so I let you fly, cause I know in my heart, our love will never die" Confident kau I let you fly, pastu orang tuh jumpa orang lain, bye bye fly away terus.
3. Don't Forget About Us: "Oh they say that you're in a new relationship, but we both know nothing comes close to what we had" "When it's real, it's forever so don't forget about us". WAH?! 

3. Tak Paham Bahasa, macam Adele

• Adele memang tak paham bahasa. Orang dah tinggalkan dia untuk kahwin dengan orang lain, DIA BOLEH DATANG KAT WEDDING ORANG TUH TANPA DIJEMPUT. Merimaskan betulah ex macam nih. Pastu 'never mind I'll find someone like you' apa hal? Kenapa nak carik orang yang lebih kurang camtu jugak?! Carilah orang yang lebih baik. Sudah sudahlah tuh... jangan ganggu orang yang dah dalam hubungan baru dan indah.
• Lagu Adele yang dia boleh nyanyi sama-sama dengan ex jenis tak paham bahasa tak reti-reti nak move on adalah:

1. Someone Like You: "I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I, couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it". "I had hoped you see my face and you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over... (OH GOD WHY)".
2.  Rumous Has It: "She, she ain't real.. she ain't gonna be able to love you like I will" "I heard you've been missing me, been telling people things you shouldn't be". Allah...

4. Pemujuk Tegar, macam Bruno Mars

• Bruno Mars kalau kena tinggal dia boleh mati, agama dia boleh hilang terus, pastu dia jadi gila and cakap dengan bulan. Memang kritikal, memang cinta mati betul. Tak elok cinta mati, tapi yang elok pasal dia? Dia tahu dia cinta perempuan itu sedalamnya, dan tak malu nak pujuk rayu sehabis baik. Dia tahu dia takkan dapat macam orang tuh lagi, jadi dia tolak ego jauh-jauh dan buat lagu yang pathetic macam tiga lagu ini...
• Lagu Bruno Mars yang menggambarkan dia seorang ex pemujuk tegar (dan patut dipertimbang untuk rujuk semula LOL):

1.  It Will Rain: "If you ever leave me baby, leave some morphine at my door, cause it'll take a whole lot of medication, to realize what we used to have, we don't have it anymore" "There'll be no sunlight if I lose you baby, there'll be no clear skies, if I lose you baby" " Just like the could my eyes will do the same, if you walk away, everyday it will rain..."
2. Talking to the Moon: "I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away, I want you back…" "They don't understand you're all I have" "The night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon, tryna get to you..." (dah gila).
3. When I Was Your Man: "I should've brought you flowers, and held your hands, should've given you all my hours, when I had the chance, take you to every parties, cuz I remember how much you loved to dance, now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man". Lagu penyesalan yang terbaik dan tak ego dan padan muka diri sendiri.

5. Mahu Tapi Tak Buat Apa-Apa, macam The Script

• Ini jenis ex yang; dia sayang dan cinta tapi dia tak buat apa-apa. Dia harap the universe will somehow work its magic untuk satukan diorang kembali tapi dia lupa tawakal dan doa saja tak ke mana tanpa usaha. Dia tak faham konsep yang dialah membentuk takdir yang telah tertulis.
• Orang yang sadis, dia tahu apa dia nak dalam hidup, tapi takde daya. Cubalah dengar The Script nih, setakat duduk tunggu satu tempat, mengharapkan kekasih tuh cari dia. Pastu kecewa sangat, pergi hang out dengan kawan-kawan, dah mabuk BARU nak call balik orang tuh. Pastu jerit-jerit nama orang tuh satu bandar... Okaaay.
• Lagu The Script yang menggambarkan golongan ini:

1. The Man Who Can't Be Moved: "Going back to the corner where I first saw you, gonna camp in my sleeping back, I'm not gonna move" "One day if you wake up and find that you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where in the earth I could be, I'm thinking maybe you'd come back here"
2. Nothing: "Am I better off dead; am I better off a quitter?" (OH MY GOD THIS PEMALAS DUDE).

6. Suka peril dan kadang-kadang merayu, macam Taylor Swift

• Taylor Swift ni satu jup yang tak suka uollsss… Perangai entah apa-apa, kejap kapel, kejap putus.. Berapa banyak dah ex-boyfriend dia… Biasa yang jenis macam ni lelaki jup, tapi ni perempuan… Pelik weyh pelik… Namun, katanya, perlian itu hanyalah untuk mengambil kembali hati yang disakiti… Macam mana tak sakit, habis tak setia.. OH MY GOSH…
• Tau nak hidup bahagia macam kapel-kapel yang lain tapi perangai still tak ubah… Harap muka jup lawa and cute kan… Dah break, barulah tergesa-gesa nak pujuk macam mana, kabut semacam, gelabah lainlah… Lepas tuh saja jup nak peril-perli mengingatkan masa lalu mengikut bulan lah apa lah yang dah jadi kan… Tak mustahil lah kan John Mayer balik semula kat dia..
• Lagu Taylor Swift yang menunjukkan siapa ex yang macam ni:

1. Back To December: “I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so nice… Now you held me in that September night that the first time you ever saw me cry… Maybe this wish for thinking, probably mindless dreaming, If you love again swear love you right…” (Manis jup ayatkan memujuk)
2.  We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: “We are never ever getting back together, you go talk to your friend, and talk to my friend and talk to me…” (Apa ni weyh kecoh2)
3.  I Knew You Were Trouble: I know you were trouble when you walk then, so shame on me now, A flew me to place I’ll be never been, so you put me down” (Semua orang bermasalah pada dia, sebab itu dia buat lagu asik peril orang jup)
4.  Everything Has Changed: “Cause all I know is we said hello, And your eyes look like coming home, All I know is a simple name, everything has changed… All I know is you held the door, You'll be mine and i'll be yours, All I know since yesterday is everything has changed”

7. Positive and Bright, macam Fergie.

• Akhir sekali adalah ex yang sedih dan kecewa, tapi sentiasa positif dan juga ceria. Bagi dia; yes I am sad we planned so much but have to let it all go. But if you're not going to work for it, I am not going to work for it. Satu hari dia percaya, orang yang betul akan mai, dan takpe, dia akan tunggu. Ex macam Fergie nih memang annoying. Dia boleh kawal perasaan dia, bila dia cinta, dia cinta sangat, tapi bila dia yakinkan diri untuk tak cinta, dia mampu untuk tak cinta.
• Bak kata Fergie:

1. Clumsy: "I like serious relationships" "Every time a boyfriend and I break up, my world is crushed and I am all alone........ (and then) the love bug crawls right back up, and I'm back!"

Fergie-Clumsy

Think of your favourite break up song, it reflects so much on you! Share! And berdasarkan kajian saya di atas, jenis bekas kekasih yang manakah anda? LOL.